I took a different path and this time it was a dumb idea. I walked to St. Marks hurriedly because I was late and thought I could make it a little quicker by trying another route. I marched quickly straight up California street for three blocks. When I saw "up", I mean UP. We had always gone another way when we went there. When I got to where I had to turn left, I was worn out from the climb. When I turned, the street ran downhill for several blocks. Not only that, but I realized I had climbed one block further than I needed to. I'm not going that way again.
I've been thinking a lot about the choices I have made throughout my life, the paths I have taken. This experience has forced me to consider the ramifications of even some of the minor choices I have made.
It should come as no surprise that my favorite poem is a favorite of many, Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". And on a side note, my favorite author Jorge Luis Borges had as one of his most famous stories, "The Garden of Forking Paths".
Why do we make the choices we make? Why do we choose one path over another beyond the obvious points that one path benefits me more? What I mean is, if all things are equal, why do I choose one path over another, and how have those choices been led by the Holy Spirit?
Most people who have an authentic call to be a pastor have noted a pull toward a path they might never have chosen, a path that doesn't make logical sense in some ways. By "authentic" I am not judging, but noting that there are people who make the choice to go to seminary a more intellectual one, rather than an unavoidable tug at one's core spirit.
I don't think being a Christian should be comfortable. If we are always comfortable as Christians, we aren't really understanding what it means to be a Christian. We aren't really listening to the revolutionary way Christ calls us to live. Then, to be a pastor is this feeling tenfold, and part of our job as pastors is to be a little uncomfortable all the time and to help our congregations feel a little uncomfortable too.
Who would choose that path, especially considering it comes with really long hours, often low pay and interminable arguments over the color of the new carpet?
How do we make our choices? If it is purely intellectual, we are probably doing ourselves a disservice. Sometimes the logical decision is the wrong one. That's the Gospel. It doesn't make any sense but it's just right.
Sometimes we need to choose the difficult paths, the paths less traveled. We might be surprised what we find there.
I have a confession to make. I escaped this immersion experience for a while today, I immersed myself in more comfortable surroundings for many hours. I escaped the poverty and homelessness I have now learned to see more clearly everywhere. When I returned, I put on my headphones and listened to loud music. As I walked through the same streets I have walked through for almost two weeks, I was able to extend my escape a little longer by absorbing myself into the music. I was able to walk past the homeless on the street and avoid feeling much of anything for a few minutes longer. It was like intentionally putting blinders on. It gave me a little more distance and a lot more comfort.
That was a choice, too. Do I choose comfort and my blinders or do I choose difficulty and open eyes more often? And if I keep choosing the comfortable path, will I ever be able to find my way back? For that matter, if I keep choosing the difficult path, will there ever be a point of no return on that journey? Or is it my path to wander between the two, choosing difficulty and uncertainty and the road less traveled when I have the strength and the path of comfort and escape when I need it?
It is enough to choose the road less traveled only some of the time?
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