I realized that I was posting every other journal entry anyway, so I may as well post my first one, which I had skipped. With each of the posts, we are trying to answer three questions. What holds us separate? What keeps me separate? As I walk the streets, what still connects me?
Day One Journal
I ate a free lunch today. I felt bad, like I was taking a meal from someone, at first. I ate an orange, small, stringy, slightly past its prime, but still good and sweet. Ten minutes later I realized some of that orange got stuck between my teeth. I needed floss. Why didn't I bring floss with me? Wow. How privileged I am! I will let this piece of orange remind me today of my privilege.
Another privilege, the privilege of loitering. I remembered a time I was without housing for about a week. Not homeless. I had a career, I stayed in a hotel at night that week, but in the hours between work and hotel check in...where could I go? I went to a park or a parking lot in my car and...read or loitered. It was uncomfortable and I worried I was going to be told to leave. What if my life was loitering? My whole life? How would I fill the time? Would I try to look busy like other people, bustling on their way to work or other places?
If I was truly loitering...I wouldn't be able to use the restroom, unless I was a customer. What would I do then? Would I buy something inexpensive for the right to pee? Shouldn't everyone have the right to pee for free?
And if I needed to contact someone, my friend, my parole officer, my mother, how would I charge my phone? At the library, lots of people were charging their phones and checking in with people.
I am so blessed and so privileged, to have my little, hole-in-the-wall, cave of an apartment, where I can privately pee, charge my phone and floss my teeth. Where I can loiter to my hearts content and nobody will have a problem with it.
I just remembered I have flossers in my pocket. I'm going to get that orange out.
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